"I need a sweater; it's 8:40."

This past weekend was born a little more than a month ago. It started as a Facebook message to the BV staff and evolved from a Cedar Point excursion of 15+ New Yorkers and Pennsylvanians to an exploration of my very own Cleveland enjoyed by a select few.

Now, while seeing the entire editorial staff all at once would have been great, I wouldn’t change a thing about July 2-4.

Elizabeth, Tyler, Cam, Paps and a guest appearance by Amanda and Sara brought the perfect combination of Ohio discoveries, hilarity, and questionable quotes from Her to my Cleveland suburb.

I’m including a list of some of the things my New York friends discovered about my great state and life in general, as suggested by the “Welcome to Ohio” sign:

-Our speed limit signs have two different speeds.

-My side door fails at its job of closing, allowing Emma the Flight-Risk Kitty to escape. (No worries, guys. Her other family returned her to us tonight and turned out to be the parents of a long-lost high school friend! Some things are meant to be.)

-Never take a friendly canine-homophobic neighbor at face value.

-Northeast Ohioans and Western New Yorkers have the same nasally accent.

-Ohioans are legally allowed to talk on cell phones while driving.

-The official Sweater Time is 8:40 p.m. Blanket Time is 11:33 p.m. and is not as widely acclaimed as Sweater Time.

-Certain Cleveland limo drivers shamefully don’t know the difference between the Terminal Tower and the BP Building.

-It takes longer to order a meatball sub than it does for seven people to buy gelato in Little Italy.

-Showers are complicated spaceship-like structures.

-Gas is much cheaper in Ohio than New York.

-Ghetto gas stations allow two students inside at a time, assuming they are not using cell phones.

-Former child-actor Ian Petrella’s greatest lifetime achievements include puppeteering and the ability to apply a nicotine patch. Oh, and he was also Randy in “A Christmas Story.”

-The infamous LeBron James billboard is much larger than it appears on TV, but equally as badass.

-The Winking Lizard is a restaurant, not a euphemism.

-Boys avoid stores like Bath & Body Works and Victoria’s Secret, regardless of geographical location.

-Passionate Kisses smell like roses and summer and yum. And they can be yours for the low, low clearance price of five bucks, give or take.

-Tickets to a Cleveland Indians game are dirt cheap, but elderly security guards are surprisingly intense about keeping Grady’s Ladies away from his banner.

-Player head shots on the Progressive Field scoreboard are seriously poor quality and make superficial judgments difficult.

-Grady Sizemore is easily the most attractive Indians player; Coco Crisp has the best name in the MLB and possibly the universe; whoever Cleveland’s #2 is, he’s deceivingly attractive and has the potential to win a tie game in the 10th. inning.

-A sign for I-90 might really mean only 90 East and/or Cleveland is prejudiced against west-siders and intentionally leads them into the projects.

- Fire pits have the ability to majorly singe the hair of idiots who get too close when lighting natural gas on fire.

-“The Secret” may or may not be complete bullshit.

-Football, apparently, is by no means a TV show.

-S’Mores require a recipe.

-There’s just something about that guy.

And that, my friends, is all I could think of for now. Fill in the blanks for me, eh?

I also posted this on my new Tumblr blog, but I'm not sure which site I'm going to stick with.. I love blogger.com ever so much, but apparently more people have Tumblr.. I don't know!